Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
