Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
