I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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