Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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