you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
