Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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