If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
