Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
