as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
