You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
