I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
