I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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