The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
only you would photoshop your dick
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
