She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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