"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
