Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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