1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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