I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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