Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
