Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
kristin has been a bad kristin
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
