You're a womanizer and a bitch.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
