Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
