Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
