just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
