make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
