So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
