I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
