In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize