I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he was CRYING into my vagina
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
