i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
