I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
In America we eat man semen.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
