I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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