she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
