Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How does one acquire holy water?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
