How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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