O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
