Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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