I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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