Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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