Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
