Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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