Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize