So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
