whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
