When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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