I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
