I think I died a long time ago.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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