some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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