Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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