Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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