I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
