Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
