Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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