physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
