If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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