So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
