I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
