I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
