Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
