I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
