lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
