honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
