Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
