What did we do last night that was yellow?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
