I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
