Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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