i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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